If we were to be honest, performance reviews and feedback sessions carry a notoriously bad reputation. The phrase “let’s schedule a review” itself can trigger an immediate physical spike in anxiety, and employees may find themselves in hot water. They would brace themselves for a list of critiques, while managers stress over how to deliver hard truths without damaging morale or triggering defensiveness. While it can be effective, it can halt communication, make it guarded, and sweep the real issues under the rug. Feedback loops break down, and alignment fractures. To build a high-performing culture, leaders and managers must master courageous candor to deliver high-standard truth without creating casualties.
In this regard, in high-stakes environments like military aviation or combat operations, sugarcoating feedback is not just ineffective; it can be fatal. Teams do not have the luxury of waiting for an annual review to address critical errors and rely on immediate, objective debriefs where mistakes are analyzed ruthlessly, but egos are entirely left at the door. They have candor that is entirely mission-focused and take feedback constructively to sharpen the collective capability of the pack so everyone wins and survives together.
In his book People, Purpose & Perseverance: Love Selflessly, Lead Boldly, Dr. Joel D. Smith highlights powerful communication strategies designed to promote alignment. And one of the most effective tools a leader can adopt to disarm defensiveness and invite honest dialogue is a simple, profound question: “What did I miss?” As the book discusses, when a leader walks into a review, a project debrief, or a conflict resolution session and asks, “What did I miss?” they can shift the dynamic from a top-down interrogation to a collaborative environment where everyone has a chance to speak up and raise their point. It acknowledges that the leader’s perspective is inherently incomplete without the frontline insights of the team member and invites the other person to point out blind spots, process bottlenecks, or miscommunications without fear of retaliation.
Transforming Your Feedback Culture
To turn everyday reviews into powerful catalysts for growth rather than sources of dread, you must reshape your communication habits. Try the following approaches to achieve this:
- Decouple feedback from ego: Focus entirely on operational outcomes and shared standards rather than personal traits or subjective judgments.
- Adopt continuous debriefing: Don’t wait for formal quarterly cycles. Use short, structured After-Action Reviews (AARs) immediately following major projects to capture lessons learned.
- Lead with curiosity: Open tough conversations by asking open-ended questions like “What did I miss?” or “How did my leadership impact your ability to execute this?”
When your team knows they can speak truth to power without becoming a casualty, alignment happens naturally, and execution scales rapidly.
Master the art of clear, high-impact communication by picking up your copy of People, Purpose & Perseverance: Love Selflessly, Lead Boldly by Dr. Joel D. Smith.
Written by a 30-year veteran leader, aviator, and founder of The Wolf Pack Leadership Initiative, People, Purpose & Perseverance: Love Selflessly, Lead Boldly is a vital field guide for navigating high-stress environments and modern organizational challenges. Dr. Smith introduces a human-centric leadership model rooted in the SECT values, including Selfless Service, Ethical Leadership, Communication, and Trust. When read and implemented, it equips managers and executives with practical frameworks like the three operational verbs (Notice, Nourish, and Navigate), strategies for enforcing rest to combat burnout, and methods for transforming middle managers into culture multipliers.
In a nutshell, it is an important leadership book for building a resilient team that runs together with purpose and determination. If you want your team to thrive and build trust and engagement across the organization. This book has to be on your reading list.
Get your copy of People, Purpose & Perseverance: Love Selflessly, Lead Boldly by Dr. Joel D. Smith: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0HB3J3NHG
